fork in the road

i'm coming to a point with myself on who i should become.
should i go right, making myself better? not being so sarcastic and mean and loud [and full of OH SHITS! lawlawl] or should i go left, keeping quiet, low key and unnoticed? or should i make a u-turn and stay the same, going back to the old me? i would say right, but you know, since something becomes a habit after 30 days it's hard. i've been saying i need to change i think i am slowly.
personal goals:
1.no cursing
2.no arguing with mexicans so i get threatened
3.no arguing with boys with afros
4.no being mean to nathan because it just makes him annoy me more in the longer run
5.over achievement.
6.become a better drummer to show up anyone who doesn't think i can do it.

i will fall to the right.
i need to start talking to everyone again, to balance along with school.
i guess i'm the only nocturnal. i'm surprised i'm awake right now because usually, i would be sleeping. i feel like i'm slowly falling off the earth. not gravitationally, of course.

i'm starting to look at my friend core, i think i'm pretty set on who my closest friends are and i don't think it'll change. i hope, at least. no longer do i question myself on who is real or not.

i feel so much more stable than i did in june-january. i was so emotionally, physically and mentally unstable that i was about to fall apart. june to january yes, is a long period of time but that's true. i feel like i know who i am, where i'm going and how i'm going to do it.

EH-PLANN.
1. CALL NOGALES AND CHANGE SPANISH TO TAGALOG!! [lol like. yaeh]
2. Do honors.
3. try out for drumline and hopefully get top bass. [ i mean come on, my competition is what? adam? millie? edgar?]
4. Take the IB test end of next year
5. Go into pre- IB and then go full IB [holy crap]
6. stay in band and IB. [if i can handle it now i should be able to in the future right?]
7. apply to scholarship @ CSUF or FIDM

now, for the college-esque plans. i used to be positive on what i wanted to do but now i question myself a liiiittle biit on what i want to do.
i narrow down to:
advertisement designer, graphic designer, music therapist.
i totally just got sidetracked looking at CSUF and FIDM.
wonderful.
kbai