when i look myself in the eye

i don't know who i really am or where i belong.
i put up the image that i am a confident, loud and unique person.
but is the confidence fabricated just so people don't know how i really feel? i often notice that i'm alone, all though i'm not at the same time. i don't know. like. i don't know! the feeling doesn't make sense.
i don't know where i belong, in all the circles around. i know i have a lot of friends but i feel i don't fit in one place. is that bad or good? i don't know.
plus. school wise. i don't know where i belong.
rowland, with my closest friends and boyfriend but ALSO my worst enemies? [even though i don't even know if i got in yet..what am i going to do if i didn't??]
nogales, with the drum line i have grown to know and love. the people i've sweat&cried with.
ayala, with my best friend. a place unknown to me, which is one of my biggest fears.
if i don't go to rowland, where am i to go?
where do i belong?
i feel as if i should just return to nogales if i don't go to rowland.
i really miss drum line. i really miss bass, my one truest love. [besides michael hehe!]
i was fierce going for bass, and i was beat out by someone with no feeling or love for it. the disappointment settles in once again.
i don't even know what i'm talking about.
so i'm just going to end it here.